My daughter bought be a 3 foot Darth Vader for my birthday. It’s in my man cave. On it is a tag that reads ‘you’re my father.’
Lucky I am.
(You see. And I didn’t even mention ‘I felt your presents/ presence.)
Can you help solve this child’s conundrum?
My daughter (Matilda, who is 5) was playing a sequencing app on her tablet.
You know the kind, the first picture was of a baby, the second a child, the third of an adult and my daughter easily placed them in order.
The next was a triangle, square and pentagon – a little more difficult, but I got there eventually.
The third one bemused me. Truly.
It was of an egg, a chick and a chicken!!!
I mean…..c’mon! Like a five year old can solve a riddle that has puzzled the human race since before sun dials began!
Surefootedly (or surefingeredly?) she tapped in her best guess. Egg. Chick. Chicken…Hmmm, I’m not so sure…
My daughter dressed up for her school ‘pirate’ day.
We have had environment (green) day and sports day, which I both fully endorse…but..
Why? What will this teach her?
That pillaging and plundering for a living is good?
That yo ho ho is the proper way to laugh?
What the word ‘skulduggery’ means.
That pantaloons are making a comeback?
That ransacking and looting is a genuine career choice?
That having an eye or leg missing is no bad thing?
That crocodiles tick?
That Captain Phillips had it all wrong?
That having parrots stapled to your shoulder is a good idea (beautiful plumage the Norweigan Blue)
Who needs milk when you can have rum?
That timbers shiver?
That lubbing land is bad?
How is this improving her education? Are pirates good role models? I mean they never have them dressing up as say a bureaucrat, or theatre critic or TV chef or politician…. actually, come to think of it….
A pirates life for me, a pirates life for me….
Who needs an iPad. A Nintendo wii or puu. Xbox 360. Ps4… Who needs TV. Home cinema. Blu-ray?
All you need are a few boxes, sticky tape, packing polystyrene and half an imagination.
And a five year old really helps as an excuse (pictured.)
They say an Englishman’s home is his castle. I say whatever it is, is should be a place of play! (Children optional.)