Mothercluckers! (Of chickens and eggs.)

Can you help solve this child’s conundrum?

My daughter (Matilda, who is 5) was playing a sequencing app on her tablet.

You know the kind, the first picture was of a baby, the second a child, the third of an adult and my daughter easily placed them in order.

The next was a triangle, square and pentagon – a little more difficult, but I got there eventually.

The third one bemused me. Truly.
It was of an egg, a chick and a chicken!!!

I mean…..c’mon! Like a five year old can solve a riddle that has puzzled the human race since before sun dials began!

Surefootedly (or surefingeredly?) she tapped in her best guess. Egg. Chick. Chicken…Hmmm, I’m not so sure…

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Television – image without imagination

As I get older and broader they conversely get more shiny and thinner.

Televisions are like the opposite of me. They are contradictory little (or big) so and so’s.


My tan fades – their colours just get brighter.
They look good backlit – My split ends affro just makes me look like I have left a failed audition for Shaft (I am not da man.)
As I get more broadminded with experience and through the realisation that I don’t really know anything for sure – the pap they channel into our heads gets more narrow and one tracked.
I try and be diverse and original – they are all about repeats.
I try and be diverse and original – they are all about repeats.
I think the right to vote is important, whatever you do with it, until I watch all of those reality TV shows that try to make you vote for some school kid from Liverpool singing ‘Earth Song’ because it reminds him of his dead Nan’s Hamster (Benji.)
I live in a world where words rule – television is all about image without imagination.

That said – I have just bought a new 46 inch LED set, so I can watch Game of Thrones as it was meant to be seen.
Square, 3D active eyes – here I come. Whoop whoop.

Benji RIP

Men, Women, Mars and Venus

There is a saying that states there is more difference within the sexes than between them. There is another book that would argue we are from different planets.

Here are a few other thoughts offered up to me by my Dad

FIRSTLY
Women will always be right and men will never understand why they are wrong.

SECONDLY
Always listen to what they say – because at some point they will say ‘you haven’t been listening to a word I say!’ then you can regurgitate said preamble and carry on reading your paper smugly.

THIRDLY
If you are walking a small group of girls home after a party or club, always make sure the pretty one lives furthest away.