Mothercluckers! (Of chickens and eggs.)

Can you help solve this child’s conundrum?

My daughter (Matilda, who is 5) was playing a sequencing app on her tablet.

You know the kind, the first picture was of a baby, the second a child, the third of an adult and my daughter easily placed them in order.

The next was a triangle, square and pentagon – a little more difficult, but I got there eventually.

The third one bemused me. Truly.
It was of an egg, a chick and a chicken!!!

I mean…..c’mon! Like a five year old can solve a riddle that has puzzled the human race since before sun dials began!

Surefootedly (or surefingeredly?) she tapped in her best guess. Egg. Chick. Chicken…Hmmm, I’m not so sure…


Telephones – Communication let me down

Telephones – why?

Why do we get home phones then get extensions in our home, then put them all over the house, then get base sets that we can use up to 50 yards from our homes, then pick one from thirty different ringtones….then?

Then it rings and we complain. The tutting and grunting that goes off at our place just because someone has the audacity to call us. On our phone. Our actual landline. Us.

To compound it, they are probably only ringing my landline because my mobile ringer has been switched off.

What in the Alexander Graham Hell is that all about?

The Best First page you have ever read?

First impressions count.

And, like it or not, people will consider whether or not they will like your work just by reading the first few lines.

With that in mind I would like to ask you Who wrote your favourite opening to a book / best first line?

I like Stephen King’s ‘The Body’ (Stand By Me) and Neil Gaiman ‘The Graveyard.’
Something about those two stories that means you have to carry on reading.

Interested in your comments.

It was the best of blogs, it was the worst of blogs…

Exercising Cruelty

I go jogging quite a bit and here is a question for those annoying black flies that end up in your eye, semi-blinding you for half an hour whilst you try to get it out.

It’s called:

Questions For The Smallest Aviators.

If a fly
Has the whole sky
To fly
And so many eyes
To navigate by
Into my eye
To die?

Death and Disney – a shocking list!

Disney films – go straight for the heart of kids and parents’ darkest fears. Though they are mainly kids films it surprises me to think of how many of them have orphans or children estranged / lost from their parents as a theme. Check out this list. Its from the top of my head so, there may be inaccuracies or omissions. Feel free to add or correct me in comments.

Here’s a quick, and by no means exhaustive list:

Anna and Elsa – Frozen (orphaned)

Bambi (Mum dead, Dad posing in the woods)Nemo – Finding Nemo (lost)

Dumbo (Separated from Mum (gets me evreytime!))

Simba – Lion King (Dad dead)

Peter Pan (Lost boy, no parents)

Tarzan (Orphaned and raised by monkeys)

Mowgli – Jungle Book (orphaned and brought up by bankers)

Aristocats (No Dad)

Snow white (Evil stepmother)

Cinderella (Evil stepmother)

Sleeping Beauty (Put into sleep and taken far away from family),

Rapunzel (Stolen by witch)

Belle (No mother, Dad kidnapped)

Pinocchio (No parents and an insect for a conscience.)

101 Dalmations (Stolen from parents)

Little Mermaid (No mum)

Oliver (Orphaned)

Penny – Rescuers (Orphaned)

Tod – Fox and Hound – (Orphaned)


I know, I know it isn’t all Disney – Harry Potter, Despicable Me, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – The list goes on and on…..

Great Advice to Writers – Questions

Education is the losing of opinions. Not the gaining of them.

I know, I know… when it comes to advice for writers I have a distinct take it or leave it kind of attitude. For such a broad , all encompassing field, there is rarely any advice that suits everyone. One size, or font, does not fit all.

That said though, something occurred to me when reading someones’ blog yesterday She was brave and talented enough to share something she had written in her early teens. I noticed that within it were a multitude of questions.
Not facts, certainties, assumptions and definites. Questions. A need to question, to find out, to investigate, to subvert, to understand. To pull at the loose threads at the corners of the world and see what unravels.

And does this not became harder as we become older or more experienced? To keep an open mind, to ask the basic questions of how things work and why they are the way they are?
And to change them?

Is it not a writers job to ask questions? To make sense of things or to make nonsense of things? Doesn’t all fiction begin with a question –
What if…?

So comment if you have the time, I would really appreciate it. And I am very interested to know your thoughts.

What questions do you ask before starting a story / novel?
What questions do you ask during the writing process? (Apart from why the hell do I do this to myself?)
What do you ask during your edit?
And when finished?

Please share this blog with anyone you know who writes – I am keen to hear as many ideas as I can on this.
Thanks for dropping in. Good to see ya.