First Line – comments

Here’s the first line for my first novel.
It’s stolen directly from my Dad –

‘Under every pony tail is an arsehole, and Charles was no exception.’

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Laws of Blogging 3 – Copying

Not mine, but so good
My thoughts drip to flood
To copy you a poem from a worn out book.

It’s sad that I should plunder
Another cloud’s thunder
But my words are far too simple and easy to overlook.

For my words sometimes fail me
Or like fanfares can hail me
Mine – rhymes of flatlines, theirs – of how the earth shook.

But to impress you I lose
The desire to choose
To copy you a poem from a worn out book.

Telephones – Communication let me down

Telephones – why?

Why do we get home phones then get extensions in our home, then put them all over the house, then get base sets that we can use up to 50 yards from our homes, then pick one from thirty different ringtones….then?

Then it rings and we complain. The tutting and grunting that goes off at our place just because someone has the audacity to call us. On our phone. Our actual landline. Us.

To compound it, they are probably only ringing my landline because my mobile ringer has been switched off.

What in the Alexander Graham Hell is that all about?

Television – image without imagination

As I get older and broader they conversely get more shiny and thinner.

Televisions are like the opposite of me. They are contradictory little (or big) so and so’s.


My tan fades – their colours just get brighter.
They look good backlit – My split ends affro just makes me look like I have left a failed audition for Shaft (I am not da man.)
As I get more broadminded with experience and through the realisation that I don’t really know anything for sure – the pap they channel into our heads gets more narrow and one tracked.
I try and be diverse and original – they are all about repeats.
I try and be diverse and original – they are all about repeats.
I think the right to vote is important, whatever you do with it, until I watch all of those reality TV shows that try to make you vote for some school kid from Liverpool singing ‘Earth Song’ because it reminds him of his dead Nan’s Hamster (Benji.)
I live in a world where words rule – television is all about image without imagination.

That said – I have just bought a new 46 inch LED set, so I can watch Game of Thrones as it was meant to be seen.
Square, 3D active eyes – here I come. Whoop whoop.

Benji RIP

Laws of Blogging 1

The ease at which one is distracted is directly correlated to the difficulty of the task.

OR

The more difficult the task, the easier we are distracted.

Like trying to make a blog sound interesting long after you should have stopped writing and… Oooh look, a cloud.

Exercising Cruelty

I go jogging quite a bit and here is a question for those annoying black flies that end up in your eye, semi-blinding you for half an hour whilst you try to get it out.

It’s called:

Questions For The Smallest Aviators.

If a fly
Has the whole sky
To fly
And so many eyes
To navigate by
Why
Fly
Into my eye
To die?