We enter our lives upside down and should leave it the same way: so that our pockets may be emptied, our heads full and so that our inverted frown may be our last smiling goodbye to the world.
My daughter dressed up for her school ‘pirate’ day.
We have had environment (green) day and sports day, which I both fully endorse…but..
Why? What will this teach her?
That pillaging and plundering for a living is good?
That yo ho ho is the proper way to laugh?
What the word ‘skulduggery’ means.
That pantaloons are making a comeback?
That ransacking and looting is a genuine career choice?
That having an eye or leg missing is no bad thing?
That crocodiles tick?
That Captain Phillips had it all wrong?
That having parrots stapled to your shoulder is a good idea (beautiful plumage the Norweigan Blue)
Who needs milk when you can have rum?
That timbers shiver?
That lubbing land is bad?
How is this improving her education? Are pirates good role models? I mean they never have them dressing up as say a bureaucrat, or theatre critic or TV chef or politician…. actually, come to think of it….
A pirates life for me, a pirates life for me….
Love Is A Tug Of War
Love is a tug of war,
A war without any hope.
I take the strain,
Then you drop the rope.
Often, female friends ask me for a male perspective.
I usually burp, ignore everything they say then talk about football.
Some forgive by sitting on the suitcase lid,
Forcing the jumble down ’til the catches click
And lop shouldered from their weight, cram it under the bed.
Some forgive by pulling the tiny pieces to pieces.
A post mortem scrutiny.
Then cremate it when they understand what the cause of death was.
Some forgive by stowing away the abuse,
Cling film wrapped for freshness,
To be dragged from the fridge for citation and later use.
Some forgive by taking time to cross examine inner thought.
Analyse, dissolve, debate, resolve
Publicised in an open session in court.
Some forgive with a childlike bundling smile,
If you ask me,
That takes real style.
Some do not forgive.
They carry it around like a sharpened hatpin
Waiting to push it in the eye of the person committing the sin.
Men are to love,
As ants are to picnics.
Mobile Phones – a midnight rant.
(freeform unedited poetry)
HEAD DOWN IN SHAME
You tube, you porn, you rot away,
Facebook, grace took, retina display.
Google, gag on http and ham soup,
Twit your brain down into gigabyte gloop
Shorten bandwidth, broaden hell
Favourites, email, apps, returned call
Down will come handsfree (cradle and all)
Not face to face time.
Kindle your fire
(to read in the dark.)
Tablets and handhelds and wifi and pics.
Bluetooth and waterproof and camera clicks.
Headaches and hand aches, rsi and no laughs.
No bite, no water fights and no framed photographs.
Just a retinal burn,
The tired cursor, blinks and waits
For your last clever blog,
Your software updates.
And you’ll sit,
And you’ll sit,
And you’ll wait for the beep,
The sounds of your life
That resounds in your sleep.
A concoction of misery, an implosion of home,
Look down, be ashamed of your mobile phone.