How We Forgive

Some forgive by sitting on the suitcase lid,
Forcing the jumble down ’til the catches click
And lop shouldered from their weight, cram it under the bed.

Some forgive by pulling the tiny pieces to pieces.
A post mortem scrutiny.
Then cremate it when they understand what the cause of death was.

Some forgive by stowing away the abuse,
Cling film wrapped for freshness,
To be dragged from the fridge for citation and later use.

Some forgive by taking time to cross examine inner thought.
Analyse, dissolve, debate, resolve
Publicised in an open session in court.

Some forgive with a childlike bundling smile,
If you ask me,
That takes real style.

Some do not forgive.
They carry it around like a sharpened hatpin
Waiting to push it in the eye of the person committing the sin.

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Mobile telephones – poem

Mobile Phones – a midnight rant.
(freeform unedited poetry)

HEAD DOWN IN SHAME

    You tube, you porn, you rot away,
    Facebook, grace took, retina display.
    Google, gag on http and ham soup,
    Twit your brain down into gigabyte gloop

    Text, predictive,
    L
    O
    L
    Shorten bandwidth, broaden hell
    Favourites, email, apps, returned call
    Down will come handsfree (cradle and all)

    FaceTime,
    Not face to face time.
    Siri,
    Don’t say.
    Compete,
    Whine online.
    No conversation
    Or play.
    Blog,
    Rate,
    Like,
    Recharge
    And Bookmark.
    Kindle your fire
    (to read in the dark.)

    Tablets and handhelds and wifi and pics.
    Bluetooth and waterproof and camera clicks.
    Headaches and hand aches, rsi and no laughs.
    No bite, no water fights and no framed photographs.

    Just a retinal burn,
    The tired cursor, blinks and waits
    For your last clever blog,
    Your software updates.

    And you’ll sit,
    And you’ll sit,
    And you’ll wait for the beep,
    The sounds of your life
    That resounds in your sleep.

    A concoction of misery, an implosion of home,
    Look down, be ashamed of your mobile phone.

Laws of Blogging 3 – Copying

Not mine, but so good
My thoughts drip to flood
To copy you a poem from a worn out book.

It’s sad that I should plunder
Another cloud’s thunder
But my words are far too simple and easy to overlook.

For my words sometimes fail me
Or like fanfares can hail me
Mine – rhymes of flatlines, theirs – of how the earth shook.

But to impress you I lose
The desire to choose
To copy you a poem from a worn out book.

The Best First page you have ever read?

First impressions count.

And, like it or not, people will consider whether or not they will like your work just by reading the first few lines.

With that in mind I would like to ask you Who wrote your favourite opening to a book / best first line?

I like Stephen King’s ‘The Body’ (Stand By Me) and Neil Gaiman ‘The Graveyard.’
Something about those two stories that means you have to carry on reading.

Interested in your comments.

It was the best of blogs, it was the worst of blogs…

Death and Disney – a shocking list!

Disney films – go straight for the heart of kids and parents’ darkest fears. Though they are mainly kids films it surprises me to think of how many of them have orphans or children estranged / lost from their parents as a theme. Check out this list. Its from the top of my head so, there may be inaccuracies or omissions. Feel free to add or correct me in comments.

Here’s a quick, and by no means exhaustive list:

Anna and Elsa – Frozen (orphaned)

Bambi (Mum dead, Dad posing in the woods)Nemo – Finding Nemo (lost)

Dumbo (Separated from Mum (gets me evreytime!))

Simba – Lion King (Dad dead)

Peter Pan (Lost boy, no parents)

Tarzan (Orphaned and raised by monkeys)

Mowgli – Jungle Book (orphaned and brought up by bankers)

Aristocats (No Dad)

Snow white (Evil stepmother)

Cinderella (Evil stepmother)

Sleeping Beauty (Put into sleep and taken far away from family),

Rapunzel (Stolen by witch)

Belle (No mother, Dad kidnapped)

Pinocchio (No parents and an insect for a conscience.)

101 Dalmations (Stolen from parents)

Little Mermaid (No mum)

Oliver (Orphaned)

Penny – Rescuers (Orphaned)

Tod – Fox and Hound – (Orphaned)

 

I know, I know it isn’t all Disney – Harry Potter, Despicable Me, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – The list goes on and on…..

Business Speak 2 – more gobbledygook from the world of morons

I have had a few more business speak classics thrown my way by friends and fellow bloggers. I might start a collection. Might even rebrand my blog (whatever the f@&k rebrand means?!)

Here they are. All real. All examples of the kind of gimp faced twattery the worst of us are capable of. It makes me shudder.
Enjoy.
And why not send me some of your personal faves? I’ll post them next time round.

Boss to female colleague at bar-
‘…don’t be afraid to use all your weapons. They are yours and the customer does not know you have them.’
(It’s amazing that a pair of brogues, a yellow jumper draped over the shoulders and a senior job title can still do little to cloak the fact that he was an utter stale cod smelling smear of a man.)

‘I consciously examine my own hypotheses.’
(It’s a shame you don’t go and subconsciously throw yourself off a cliff.)

‘I will wear a ‘quality hat’ every day.’
(And substandard shoes?)

‘I track targets with a wide lens.’
(And look for my brain cells with a telephoto.)

‘I am forensic in producing data.’
(They call me the Quincy of the business world.)

I have similar feelings towards people who ‘roll’ things out.
That’s fine if it’s a ball, marbles, new carpet or dough…but ideas are not always spherical.
Bollocks are.
(Well kind of)

That is my weekend rant over.
Add to it if you like, if not, thanks for dropping by.