First Line – comments

Here’s the first line for my first novel.
It’s stolen directly from my Dad –

‘Under every pony tail is an arsehole, and Charles was no exception.’

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15 thoughts on “First Line – comments

    • Curlydaz 03/06/2014 / 10:50 pm

      Thank you. I expect there’s someone called Charles who may not like it as much! Thanks for commenting

      • phantomwriter143 03/06/2014 / 10:52 pm

        Eh. Forget Charles. Apparently he’s a jerk, anyways. 🙂

  1. Margy Rydzynski 04/06/2014 / 2:38 am

    Okay then, I’m ready for line two!

    • Curlydaz 04/06/2014 / 6:51 am

      Unfortunately the entire rest of my book needs some work. It maybe something I never get around to as well. You got any first lines?

      • Margy Rydzynski 05/06/2014 / 1:02 am

        Sure do. I just added it as a quote!

  2. Auntie Doris 04/06/2014 / 7:32 am

    What on earth is the Prince of Wales doing, sitting behind a horse… If it is startled and kicks out with its rear legs, he’ll ruddy know about it!

    • Curlydaz 04/06/2014 / 8:05 am

      If I laugh out loud at any more of your comments or posts I swear I’m going to get committed!

  3. AshleyLauren 04/06/2014 / 1:56 pm

    I have a pick up line, but I doubt it’s the first. “Excuse me, do you know where the bakery is? I’m looking for a cutie pie like you!”

    • Curlydaz 04/06/2014 / 2:59 pm

      Ha ha. Awesome. Does it work?

      • AshleyLauren 04/06/2014 / 8:02 pm

        Sometimes! I’m a super cheesy person and love pick up lines no matter their smoothness.

  4. Grace 07/06/2014 / 9:16 pm

    Grabs the reader’s attention right away. A very good start 😉

    • Curlydaz 07/06/2014 / 10:03 pm

      Thanks Grace. I’ve had a few different opinions about the ‘heals to smithereens’ part, so it’s really useful to get some good feedback as still not sure where to go. Thank you

  5. mcpervy 12/06/2014 / 11:11 pm

    I’d keep reading it. I’ll probably even steal it

    • Curlydaz 12/06/2014 / 11:21 pm

      Ha ha. Thanks for your comments, and for the laugh.

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